rogetbeforeandafter
Madame Roget’s Before & After Photos

One of Kingsmouth’s most infamous residents sat down with us to address some old photos of her that were sent to our office by an anonymous source. Anyone who hasn’t been to Raven’s Knock recently may be startled by the psychic’s transformation. While many women want to keep mum about whether or not they may have had a little procedural “help” to improve their looks, Madame Roget was eager to discuss her changed appearance. “I can’t believe this is still an issue. So I had a little work done. It’s not like it’s the end of the world,” she said, “Look, I happen to have a doctor friend in New York who owed me a favor and I figured why not? Living with the undead turned me into an absolute physical wreck. Gives new meaning to the term ‘crow’s feet’, you know?”

She admitted to a little worry about the downside of going under the knife, especially after her surgeon’s medical license was revoked. “I have some numbness in my face from time to time, and I sometimes wonder if these headaches I get might have something to do with things being pulled a bit too tightly. Still, it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Surprisingly, Madame Roget had spent years being self-conscious about her looks. “I hated my nose and my chin looked like a boxer’s. As I got older, things didn’t get better. I got a little jowly over time and there was nothing I could do about it. I hate to admit it but I think I had resting witch face. That’s not a good look in my profession.”

When asked if she had any idea why someone might want us to know about her plastic surgery, Madame Roget’s normally sweet disposition turned sour for a moment before she regained her composure. “This town is full of jealous losers. And such dishonesty! There are ladies in this town who’ve been carved up like Christmas hams and they want to look down their nose jobs at me? I’m not ashamed of what I did and I have nothing to hide.” She went on to stress that it’s about being comfortable in your skin and that surgical enhancement may not be for everyone.

“Look at Norma Creed,” Roget said, “She’s chosen to age naturally, but let me tell you a secret…that lady has a smoking body! Trust me. I’ve seen her naked, but that’s a whole other story. Tending that bonfire in her yard must burn a lot of calories!” At this, the town’s mystic tossed her carefully coiffed hair out of her eyes and chuckled at her own joke. “Seriously, though, Norma is a beautiful lady. I have a lot of respect for a woman who isn’t afraid to let go of the more traditional beauty standards. That just isn’t for me.”

Madame Roget was willing to divulge another little known secret that might interest some of our readers who are on the lookout for natural beauty solutions. Since the local pharmacy closed and the Kingsmouth door-to-door product ladies are more preoccupied with eating faces than giving makeovers, it can be difficult to get all the lotions and potions we once used. “I make my own facial mask of pumpkin, with a little cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg. The pumpkin enzymes keep my face looking fresh no matter the season and the cinnamon helps stimulate the circulation. We seem to have a lot of pumpkins growing around here year round so I never run out of the stuff.”

If you find yourself in Kingsmouth, go by the Raven’s Knock and say hello. Maybe get your cards read or have a nice cup of tea and some pumpkin pie. There’s definitely more to Madame Roget than meets the eye. She’s sweeter and smarter than most give her credit for, and like the rest of us she’s doing the best she can. Her outside may have gotten a little upgrade, but it’s her inner beauty that shines through when you take the time to get to know her.

Mayahuel Bailey is a new addition to the Tuppenny Dreadful staff.

@MayahuelB

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